11/2005 In case you missed it

Am I happy the dog is rotting in hell?
Insightful
Sweet soccer goodness
How dare you rhyme in the presence of Chuck Norris!

Shiny Dark

Don't look, what's your first impression of the phrase: shiny dark?

• Post Modern


• Deep Throat


• Doesn't "shiny" have an 'e'?


• Starvation

If you were me, these thoughts would be secondary to "my most recent bathroom remodel". You see, the dark, dank bathroom that is accessible both to our study and the art room came complete with doodie green tiles, doodie brown wainscoting/cabinet, doodie green carpeting, and doodie tan linoleum. If you are offended by doodie, then great, you are equally offended by my bathroom. In a balancing act unequalled on earth, material shinier than the sun was used as wallpaper in the same bathroom. The term "balance" used here only applies if you consider a smack in the face to be the perfect remedy for a punch in the tummy.

1. Paint the tile with epoxy paint made for porcelain or ceramic


2. Install new sink, faucet, and bath hardware


3. Paint the wooden wainscoting and sink cabinet


4. Tear out the mirrored wallpaper and paint the walls/ceiling


5. Install vent, lighting, plugs


6. Lay ceramic tiles on the floor


7. Install baseboards


8. Recycle Blue Ribbon cans

All in all, we got the most dramatic turn around for the money yet.

10/2005 Best bits of the universe1.

Best prank evar!
You know what he did?
For the [kids].
Cadavers!
He doesn't even care.
Remedial Rappelling
Worst ride evar (pretty much).



¹No guarantee either expressed or implied that said universe was searched or exists.^2
2not funny

Levi 4 months

Pantry - 1,001 easy steps

The pantry that will materialize here for you much quicker than it did for me used to be our laundry room. Last year, my dad and brother moved some 220, gas, and water lines around so that the old wet bar could become our new laundry room. Why 2 laundry rooms you ask? Because that's how we do it. But, since people generally aren't as impressed with "dual washing" as they are with "dual exhaust", we decided to make the old laundry room into a pantry. As you'll see, this room was also the back wall of a guest shower that had leaked out for years and ruined this interior wall. When I first ripped out 48" of sheetrock it was for exploratory reasons on the bath. But, it was worth it because lots of stuff had to change.




The old plumbing was routed to the new shower without tees for the washing machine.

Rylan's Fire

I've often asked my nephew, "Where does your firey determination come from?" He usually just says, "Stop asking me that." Today he gave me the answer: fire.

The original art:


Rylan's graphical interpretation:


Rylan, my friend, the whole world now knows your secret. Expect the man (me) to try to keep you down. Expect the random water balloon.

Levi: 7 weeks

Shan: Lookin' all good and stuff

Levi: 6 Weeks

Levi Watch - Day One Month

House - Guest Shower

This is the story of a bathroom. A true, Hollywood story if you will. I don't really know much about it, though.



This shower appears to have doubled as an ancient burial ground. Many a corpse it seems to scream, many a corpse. It didn't smell very good either.






The sink wasn't *that* bad. And by "not *that* bad" I mean it leaked, stunk, and propositioned me.




That about sums up 30 years of service that was gutted in a week. You may think that is crazy, that there should be more to commemorate. Time will tell just how wrong you are.










This is not human skin soaked in the household preservative Tang®, it is a waterproof membrane and I have the receipt.