11/2005 In case you missed it

Am I happy the dog is rotting in hell?
Insightful
Sweet soccer goodness
How dare you rhyme in the presence of Chuck Norris!

Shiny Dark

Don't look, what's your first impression of the phrase: shiny dark?

• Post Modern


• Deep Throat


• Doesn't "shiny" have an 'e'?


• Starvation

If you were me, these thoughts would be secondary to "my most recent bathroom remodel". You see, the dark, dank bathroom that is accessible both to our study and the art room came complete with doodie green tiles, doodie brown wainscoting/cabinet, doodie green carpeting, and doodie tan linoleum. If you are offended by doodie, then great, you are equally offended by my bathroom. In a balancing act unequalled on earth, material shinier than the sun was used as wallpaper in the same bathroom. The term "balance" used here only applies if you consider a smack in the face to be the perfect remedy for a punch in the tummy.

1. Paint the tile with epoxy paint made for porcelain or ceramic


2. Install new sink, faucet, and bath hardware


3. Paint the wooden wainscoting and sink cabinet


4. Tear out the mirrored wallpaper and paint the walls/ceiling


5. Install vent, lighting, plugs


6. Lay ceramic tiles on the floor


7. Install baseboards


8. Recycle Blue Ribbon cans

All in all, we got the most dramatic turn around for the money yet.